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Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Commentary:
😂👨‍⚕️ "Next stop: Therapy Land! Watch out, ladies, I know all the best spots… for self-discovery and personal growth! Buckle up for a one-way ride to emotional enlightenment! 🚗💨"

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Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Making waves on WeChat:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Going viral on Facebook:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Spotted on Facebook:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Shared recently on Reddit:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Just landed via Threads:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Trending via Reddit:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

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Funny dropping off quotes

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

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