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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Spotted on Slack:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Going viral on Discord:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Shared recently on Slack:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Just landed via Slack:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Trending via Instagram:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Just landed via Instagram:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Live now on X:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Broadcasted on X:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Seen just now on Discord:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

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