Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,394

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Spotted on Threads:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Going viral on Threads:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Making waves on WeChat:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Going viral on Reddit:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Making waves on TikTok:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Making waves on Reddit:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Trending via Threads:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Funny envy quotes

Funny envy quotes bring a hilarious twist to those green-eyed moments 🍀😂 Whether you’re poking fun at jealousy or turning envy into laughter, these witty lines will have you grinning in no time 😜✨ Ready to see envy from a lighter side? Let the chuckles begin and the good vibes roll! 🎉🤣

New funny envy quotes 👇

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

11 hours ago

envy, humor, jealous, jealousy, man, marriage, married, men, nobody, relationship, stay-at-home, stay-at-home wife, wealthy, wealthy man, wife
The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

18 hours ago

comparison, envy, except, humor, irony, know, leisure, media, need, social, social media, thing, vacation, work
Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

2 months ago

account, aspiration, balance, being, difficulty, envy, expectations, financial, financial difficulty, financial envy, having, house, house shopping, houses, humor, humor about money, i, kitchen, lifestyle, luxury, me, million, money, priorities, property, sarcasm, shopping, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations, worth, zero
If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

2 months ago

confidence, envy, fashion, humor, i, media, Pinterest, social, social media, style, wardrobe, wardrobe envy
Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

2 months ago

actresses, bud, clean, cotton, cotton bud, ear, envy, face, humor, i, porn
The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

2 months ago

envy, humor, i, irony, people, problem, rich, rich people, self-reflection, wealth
I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

2 months ago

activity, area, beach, coastal, coastal area, envy, fun, fun activity, jealousy, just, lifestyle, live, mean, people, random, random Tuesday, Tuesday
I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

3 months ago

baby, crying, envy, escape, event, gathering, humor, i, leave, parents, social, social gathering

All funny envy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

81 shares on Threads this month:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

How do I un-know people?

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

70 shares on Threads this month:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

77 shares on X this month:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Breaking via YouTube:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Spotted on WeChat:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Shared recently on Facebook:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Trending via Telegram:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

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