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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡ģ has copied:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from ðŸ‡ąðŸ‡Ļ has downloaded:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩðŸ‡Ķ has shared:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡ē has downloaded:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from ðŸ‡ĐðŸ‡ē has shared:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŪðŸ‡Đ has bookmarked:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from ðŸ‡ū🇊 has viewed:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from ðŸ‡ē🇭 has shared:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇚🇎 has shared:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŋðŸ‡Ķ has copied:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Breaking via Twitch:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Trending via YouTube:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Making waves on WeChat:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Shared recently on Discord:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Trending via Messenger:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Going viral on Messenger:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌ïļ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂ðŸ’Ĩ

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from ðŸ‡ģðŸ‡ŋ has copied:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇊ðŸ‡Ļ has copied:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇎🇭 has shared:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģðŸ‡Ķ has copied:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇰ðŸ‡Ū has bookmarked:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩðŸ‡đ has viewed:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĐðŸ‡ŋ has shared:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģðŸ‡Ķ has bookmarked:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡ŧ has downloaded:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Trending via X:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Making waves on Reddit:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Reported on Slack:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Trending via WeChat:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

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