The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Commentary:
"The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. It's like battling White Walkers in a boardroom setting. Winter is coming…to my to-do list. ❄️👔 #GameOfMeetings"

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Commentary:
"Looks like you've upgraded from sleeping like a log to sleeping like a load of laundry! 🛏️🌀 Hang in there, maybe next time you'll wake up feeling fresh and fluffed! 😅"

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Commentary:
"Another day, another episode of 'Adventures in Waking Up Too Early.' 🌞😴 One must learn to embrace the morning chaos with a touch of humor and copious amounts of coffee! ☕️😅 #MorningStruggles"

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I've never slept.

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate art of Hobbysomnia – where one masters the skills of snoozing and waking up feeling like they just ran a marathon in their dreams! 😴🏃‍♂️ Sweet dreams, sweaty awakenings! 😆"

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Commentary:
"Parenting: where 90% of the time you’re either lying down or just thinking about lying down. 💤😅 #ParentingReality"

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 8 hours of sleep – like a mythical creature only spotted once in a blue moon! 🌙😂 It's a journey filled with twists, turns, and plenty of caffeinated detours. Who needs a map when you've got determination and a cozy pillow, right? 💤 Keep chasing those Z's, you sleep warrior!"

I'm looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I've been tired since 2010.

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Commentary:
"Looking for a moisturizer that can hide the fact that my under-eye bags have their own postal code 💌💤 #TiredSince2010"

Being social sucks all my energy.

Being social sucks all my energy.

Commentary:
"Who needs a workout when you can just socialize? 💪🏼💬 But hey, socializing is like a real-life energizer bunny… it eats up all your batteries! ⚡️😅 #SocialButExhausted"

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic Monday morning motto! 😴💤 Who needs coffee when you can just hibernate like a bear for a few days? 🐻 Just make sure to set an alarm for 72 hours later! ⏰😂"

I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Commentary:
"Sounds like you've mastered the art of tiredness – retired today, re-tired tomorrow! 😂💤"