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29 Funny fantasy quotes

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

1 month ago

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

1 month ago

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

1 month ago

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

2 months ago

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

3 months ago

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

3 months ago

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

3 months ago

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

3 months ago

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

3 months ago

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

3 months ago

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

3 months ago

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

3 months ago

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

3 months ago

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

3 months ago

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

3 months ago

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

3 months ago

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

3 months ago

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

3 months ago

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

3 months ago

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

3 months ago