My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Commentary:
"If only our wishes had monetary value! 😂 Imagine the joy of being rich and literally **showered** in cash, but hey, maybe being left alone afterward is the real treasure 🤑💸 #FantasyGoals"

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Commentary:
"From spinning lightsabers to spinning deadlines! The force is strong with this one…but so are the monthly bills! 💫💼 #JediStruggles"

If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a Sighclops.

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Commentary:
Oh, the legendary creature known for its incredible ability to express exasperation with just one eye open! 🙄 It’s a rare sight to behold, the majestic Sighclops wandering through the realms of boredom and indifference. A true icon of mythological sighing power! 😂🧛‍♂️ #SighGoals

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Commentary:
Oh, "AI is coming for your jobs!" 🤖💼 Good luck to AI sending those 5 emails a day and managing their fantasy football line-ups for 8 hours straight! 📧🏈 Maybe AI needs a coffee break and a motivational cat meme to keep up with the daily grind! 😆☕🐱

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Commentary:
"Imagine stumbling upon the house from Hansel and Gretel, only to find it magically transformed into a delicious taco paradise! 🌮🏠 Now that's a spicy twist on a classic tale that is sure to leave your taste buds wanting more! Just make sure not to nibble on the walls, or you might end up attracting some very hungry taco-loving witches! 🌮🧙‍♀️😄"

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Commentary:
"Who needs Netflix when you've got jury duty? 🕵️‍♂️💼 But let's be real, being sequestered probably means getting more peace and quiet than any mom could dream of! 🤫🛌 #MomGoals"

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Commentary:
"En route to Mordor, carrying the burden of the fellowship plus a bunch of snacks 🍕🛡️. Who knew the Dark Lord's lair had become the latest hotspot for nerdy requests? #FrodoDeliveryService 😉"

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Commentary:
"Employers love a good adventure story! 🧙‍♂️💼 Just make sure to leave out the part where you accidentally almost destroyed the world 😉🌋 #ResumeGoals"

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Commentary:
Looks like there's a bit of magic and mischief in the air! 🧝‍♂️✨ Who knew believing in trolls and elves could come with a side of skepticism? Maybe he just needs more convincing spells and proof from the enchanted forest! 🌿😄 #MagicAndSkepticism

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Commentary:
"Who needs actual responsibilities when you can just play The Sims all day? 💼🏠 It's like living in a fantasy world where adulting doesn't exist! 😂🎮"