Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,981

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Trending via Discord:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Breaking via WeChat:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Going viral on TikTok:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Home » Funny Fat Quotes » Page 5

55 Funny fat quotes

More funny fat quotes 👇

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

0

2 months ago

advantages, being, fat, humor, i, last, lazy, procrastination, self-deprecation, still, winter, year
If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

0

2 months ago

big, dog, dogs, ever, everyone, fat, humor, i, keep, learn, liar, mind, pet, talk, trust, truth, want
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

0

2 months ago

bacon, dollar, every, fat, food, humor, i, ID, just, me, money, self-deprecation, someone, spend, spending, time
That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, bonus, content, fat, humor, positivity, self-love
Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

0

2 months ago

called, called off, care, casual, casual wear, day, day off, fat, feeling, feeling fat, jeans, self, self-care, wear, work
Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

0

2 months ago

diet, fat, health, humor, joke, mosquito
I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

0

2 months ago

ads, body, body image, chin, chin fat, fat, getting, humor, image, offended, relevance, targeted, targeted ads
My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

0

2 months ago

brain, fat, hair, life, skin
There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, dying, fat, fat man, get out, humor, inside, man, me, positivity, self-image
I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, easy, easy to see, fat, humor, image, just, perception, self-deprecation

For even more funny fat quotes, hit next 👇

All funny fat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

10 shares on X this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Seen just now on Discord:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Making waves on Discord:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Going viral on Instagram:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Going viral on Slack:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Shared recently on Telegram:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Just landed via Slack:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Activity Log ✨

55 Funny fat quotes

More funny fat quotes 👇

All funny fat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨