Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Making waves on YouTube:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Seen just now on Threads:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Breaking via Discord:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

14 Funny flowers quotes

Funny flowers quotes bring a burst of laughter 🌸😂 to your garden vibes! Whether you’re a plant parent or just love a good pun, these witty sayings will brighten your day like a sunflower in full bloom 🌻✨. Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even share some floral fun with friends 🌼😄—because who said flowers can’t have a sense of humor?

New funny flowers quotes 👇

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All funny flowers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

28 shares on Discord this month:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Making waves on Twitch:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Trending via Snapchat:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

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