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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has copied:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has copied:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has viewed:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has shared:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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1875 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,037

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14,823

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12,037

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3,440

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Discord:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Just landed via Twitch:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m sorry, but when you call me β€˜batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Just landed via Slack:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Making waves on WeChat:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Spotted on Facebook:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Making waves on X:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1875 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,037

Funny Quotes Topics

14,823

Funny Quotes Images

12,037

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has copied:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said β€œThe fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has shared:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has viewed:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Reported on X:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Slack:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Live now on Threads:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

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