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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

Donโ€™t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, โ€œOh, thatโ€™s where that comes from,โ€ every other page.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Apparently, โ€œspiteโ€ is not an appropriate answer to โ€œWhat motivates you?โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know itโ€™s to annoy my husband.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Snapchat:

His hands wouldnโ€™t stop talking to me, your honor.

Spotted on Twitch:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Spotted on Threads:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Trending via Telegram:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Spotted on WeChat:

โ€œYou donโ€™t load the dishwasher right,โ€ I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Just landed via Threads:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

13 Funny fortune quotes

Funny fortune quotes bring a burst of laughter and unexpected wisdom into your day! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ”ฎ Whether you’re seeking a smile or a quirky twist on destiny, these witty sayings turn fortunes into fun moments. Perfect for sharing, saving, or brightening up your feed, they blend humor and insight in the most delightful way. Ready to giggle your way to the future? Let the good vibes roll! ๐ŸŽ‰โœจ

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Funny Quotes Collections
โœจ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Forced to say โ€œitโ€™s okayโ€ instead of throwing a chair at them.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Donโ€™t let anyone treat you like a red flag, youโ€™re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

98 shares on X this month:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I canโ€™t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Tweeting shouldnโ€™t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Exorcist came by. Says house isnโ€™t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. Itโ€™s not looking so good.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Iโ€™ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

If you donโ€™t fall in love with me, Iโ€™ll write poetry about you and then youโ€™ll regret it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Why would I get married when itโ€™s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going bananas on YouTube:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Going viral on Telegram:

โ€œIโ€™m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.โ€

Spotted on TikTok:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Spotted on YouTube:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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