Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Commentary:
"Who said burglars can't be considerate houseguests? 😅 Keeping your valuables by the front door – just in case your uninvited midnight visitors need a quick exit strategy! 🚪💰 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Commentary:
"Who needs a 'Beware of Dog' sign when you can have a 'Beware of Empty Wallet' sign instead? 💸🚫😂 #MoneyMatters"
6 months ago
Share →: Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Commentary:
"Looks like someone needs to go back to 'Grammar 101: The Essentials' class 📚🤦‍♂️ Mixing up e.g. and i.e. can lead to some awkward situations, especially in front of the hoes! 🌹😂 #GrammarFail"
6 months ago
Share →: My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Commentary:
"Oh no, talk about adding insult to injury! 🥪💳 Maybe they thought you were treating them to a free show along with a sandwich? 😂 Better luck with your next card swipe!"
6 months ago
Share →: Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of why deer have such an affinity for playing chicken with cars 🚗🦌 Perhaps they're just trying to make a quick getaway from their daily woodland commute! 🌲😆"
6 months ago
Share →: Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wonders of the Midwest: where road construction is the unofficial state sport 🚧, weather is as unpredictable as a reality show plot twist 🌦️, and deer play a thrilling game of 'dodge the car' 🦌. Who needs small towns and cornfields when you've got all this excitement? 😂 #MidwestLiving"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Commentary:
"Who needs a welcome mat when you have honesty as your doormat? 🚪🤥 Keeping it real from doorstep to living room! #NoLiesAtThisHouse"
6 months ago
Share →: Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Commentary:
"Imagine the looks on the fish's faces as they see us approach… 'Oh look, here comes the two-eyed creature! Better swim away before it tries to give us a hug with its front-facing eyes!' 👀🐟😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Commentary:
Isn't that the ultimate modern-day parental power move? 💪🏼📹 "Oh hey there kids, just letting you know I'm watching 👀… and so are the neighbors 🏡😂. Behave yourselves or the Ring camera might magically start playing 'The Mysterious Stranger' theme song 🎵💀. Just kidding… maybe. 😏"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Commentary:
"Who needs a backseat driver when you've got a horse with an attitude 🐴🚗 Trading horsepower for horsepower may have been a step backward in river-crossing capabilities! 🏞️😂"