Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

235 Funny fun activity quotes

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

3 months ago

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

3 months ago

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

3 months ago

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

3 months ago

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

3 months ago

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

3 months ago

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

3 months ago

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

3 months ago

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

3 months ago

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

3 months ago

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

3 months ago

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

3 months ago

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

3 months ago

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

3 months ago

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

3 months ago

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

3 months ago

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

3 months ago

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

3 months ago

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

3 months ago

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

3 months ago