14 Funny funeral quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the hefty price tag on funerals is the ultimate anti-aging remedy! 💸⏳ Who knew the fear of funeral bills could add years to your life? 😂 #LifeHacks"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the ultimate prank from beyond the grave! Nothing says 'rest in peace' quite like a posthumous text blast. Just imagine all the confusion and amusement that would ensue as friends and family receive heartfelt messages from the great beyond. The deceased might even become known as the ultimate party host, orchestrating one final gathering long after they've departed. It's a brilliant mix of sentiment and humor that's sure to leave everyone scratching their heads in wonder and appreciation.

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to dramatic gestures, timing is everything! 💍💀💔 #WeddingNoNos #FuneralFauxPas"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

  Commentary:
  "What a unique way to stand out at the next wedding! 💐😄 Talk about taking 'till death do us part' to a whole new level! 👰🏼‍♂️💒 #WeddingsAndFunerals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

  Commentary:
  "Here lies a real crowd-pleaser! 💐🎉 Who's up for catching the bouquet and continuing this wild ride of life? 😉 #FuneralGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

  Commentary:
  "Late to my own funeral? Please, I'd probably stop for coffee on the way! ☕️😂 Who needs to show up to a party they can't enjoy? 🎉💀 #FashionablyLateForever"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

  Commentary:
  "Who says you can't take your love for merch to the grave? 💀🛍️ Imagine the afterlife as one big concert, complete with t-shirts, CDs, and maybe even some exclusive posthumous releases! Rock on from beyond the grave! 🤘😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

  Commentary:
  "Who said you can't have popcorn-worthy drama even from the afterlife? 👀🍿 #DramaFromTheGrave 💁‍♀️💀"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

  Commentary:
  Seems like this employee was just thinking ahead to accommodate all preferences, even in the afterlife! 😂🔥⚰️ Who knew that in the funeral business, it's all about the final smoking vs. non-smoking section! #RestInPeaceOrInAshes

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing like livening up a funeral with some scandalous support 😏🙊 Who says funerals have to be a somber affair? Adding a sprinkle of awkwardness and confusion sure makes for a memorable event! 🌶️ #BreakingFuneralEtiquette"

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