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89 Funny funny observation quotes

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

2 weeks ago

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

3 weeks ago

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

1 month ago

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

1 month ago

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

1 month ago

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

1 month ago

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

1 month ago

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

1 month ago

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

1 month ago

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

2 months ago

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

2 months ago

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

2 months ago

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

2 months ago

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

2 months ago

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

3 months ago

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

3 months ago

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

3 months ago

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

3 months ago

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

3 months ago

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

3 months ago