93 Funny funny observation quotes

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  1 day ago

  View →: People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!
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  1 week ago

  View →: A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.
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  2 months ago

  View →: There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.
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  2 months ago

  View →: King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Why can’t more dumb people be shy?
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  3 months ago

  View →: For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.
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  3 months ago

  View →: If you look close enough, everyone is insane.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.
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  3 months ago

  View →: These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”
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  3 months ago

  View →: The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?
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  4 months ago

  View →: I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.
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  4 months ago

  View →: You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.
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  4 months ago

  View →: So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?
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  4 months ago

  View →: One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.
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  4 months ago

  View →: It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.
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  5 months ago

  View →: You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

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