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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Live now on Instagram:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Going viral on Reddit:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Making waves on TikTok:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Live now on Discord:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Breaking via Reddit:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Going viral on TikTok:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Going viral on Discord:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Going viral on TikTok:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Breaking via Discord:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Spotted on WeChat:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Just shared via WeChat:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

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