Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Just shared via X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Going viral on X:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Shared recently on Slack:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Going viral on WeChat:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Funny German word quotes

New funny German word quotes 👇

All funny German word quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Discord this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

72 shares on Slack this month:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

95 shares on TikTok this month:

For whom the doom scrolls!

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Spotted on WeChat:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Seen just now on Slack:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Going bananas on X:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Going bananas on X:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

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