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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Going viral on Threads:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Seen just now on Discord:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Going viral on X:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Spotted on Slack:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Trending via Pinterest:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Making waves on X:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

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