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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has shared:

They should list at least one alien β€œas himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has shared:

I love how one day my body just decided β€œYou know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on WeChat:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Just landed via X:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Just landed via Instagram:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Trending via TikTok:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Spreading quickly via X:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Spotted on Slack:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

51 Funny giving quotes

Funny giving quotes 🎁 are the perfect way to add a dash of humor πŸ˜‚ to your generosity! Whether you’re brightening someone’s day with witty words or sharing a giggle on social media, these quotes remind us that giving doesn’t always have to be serious. They blend joy and jest, turning every gift into a memorable moment. So, get ready to sprinkle some laughter in your life and discover the lighter side of giving! πŸŽ‰βœ¨

New funny giving quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny giving quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny giving quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on YouTube this month:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

59 shares on Discord this month:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I love how one day my body just decided β€œYou know what you really need is some ear hair.”

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

A selfie only a mother could like.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing PokΓ©mon.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I need a long hot meteor shower.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has downloaded:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has shared:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has downloaded:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has copied:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

If I say β€œwith all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I am β€œWe read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Making waves on Telegram:

When someone tells me β€œThey could care less”, instead of the proper β€œI couldn’t care less”, I always say β€œAt least you care.”

Spotted on YouTube:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Live now on Telegram:

When someone dies people say β€œhe’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Seen just now on X:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Trending via WeChat:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Trending via Telegram:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Spreading quickly via X:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

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