Commentary:
📱😄 "Apologies for the delayed likes! In my defense, my phone has practically been an extension of my hand since the ancient times of 2012. Time flies when you're scrolling social media, right?" 🕰️🤳

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.
Commentary:
🍋🤣 "When life gives you lemons, don't just make lemonade – be the lemon! 🍋😄 Show the world that you're zesty, tangy, and ready to add a little zest to their day. Who knew being a lemon could be so empowering? 😉🍋 #SourPower"
Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions – the eternal struggle between channeling our inner Victoria's Secret model or indulging in the sweet embrace of cake 🍰👙 Who needs abs when you can have abs-olutely delicious cake, am I right? 😂 #CakeOverCalories"

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’
Commentary:
Isn't it strange how one hand is the star performer while the other is just a clueless bystander? 🤔🖐️ "Come on, left hand, it's time to step up your game!" 😂✍️ #HandyQuirks

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.
Commentary:
😄💀 "I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive. Well, if that isn't the ghost calling the kettle spooky! 👻 Who said the afterlife couldn't have a sense of humor? Just watch out for those ghostly giggles echoing in the night!"

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.
Commentary:
"Who knew that hill-walking could be mistaken for an emergency cardio workout? 🚑 Next time, maybe we'll add a fake oxygen tank for dramatic effect! 💨 #WalkingTales"

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.
Commentary:
When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail
Commentary:
"Words of wisdom: Don't bite hands, folks. Keep those pearly whites in check! 🤭🦷 #NoHandBiting"

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.
Commentary:
Sounds like this guy really doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to agreeing with his wife! 🙈🤣 It must be tough keeping score when you're running out of fingers to count on! 🤷♂️😂