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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,001

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Just shared via X:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Going viral on Slack:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Making waves on Discord:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Just shared via X:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Just landed via Discord:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on X this month:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

44 shares on Threads this month:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying is the first step toward failure.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,595

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Trending via Threads:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Seen just now on Discord:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Seen just now on Threads:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Trending via Snapchat:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Just landed via X:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

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