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34 Funny hit quotes

Trending Funny Hit Quotes 🔥

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.
I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.
I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.
Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.
Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

More funny hit quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Commentary:
"Looks like this kid didn't just lose his balance, but gained a superpower! 🚲🐝 Must've been quite the buzzzzz. Talk about a 'stinging' revelation! 🤯😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Commentary:
"If you're going to be a backseat driver, at least do it quietly 🚗💥 Otherwise, it's going to be a real scream fest in here! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Commentary:
Oh, the dreaded "at your age…" It's the medical equivalent of being handed the senior citizen discount card without warning. 🧓👴 But hey, at least now you can milk it for all it's worth – demand extra soft pillows and all the Jell-O you can eat! 💊😂 #AGEisJustaNumber
5 months ago
Share →: Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is looking for a more 'hands-on' approach to self-care. 🤪🛠️ Maybe a little fresh air and sunshine would do the trick too! ☀️ Just be sure to leave the shovels for gardening, not self-improvement projects!"
5 months ago
Share →: You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Commentary:
"Driving tip of the day: apparently, the road to becoming a pro driver doesn't include hitting curbs and making trash cans nervous. 🚗💨 Who knew, right? Watch out, Formula 1, here comes the trash can demolition derby champ!"
5 months ago
Share →: I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Commentary:
"Leaving a note suggesting a future showdown with a parked car? 🚗😂 That's one way to keep the other vehicles in line! Just hope they don't take it as a challenge. 😆 #ParkingWars"
5 months ago
Share →: Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Commentary:
"Well, that would definitely make customer service a lot more interesting! 😂 Imagine walking into a store not knowing if today is the day you'll get bopped on the head for being a difficult shopper. 🛒💢 Just another reason to be extra nice to retail staff! 🤣 #CustomerServiceGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's banking on their vocal talents to sleigh the retirement game! 🎤🎅 Who needs a 401(k) when you've got jingle bells and high notes to back you up? 🎶😄 #RockinAroundTheRetirementPlan"
5 months ago
Share →: Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Commentary:
"Basketball be like, 'Gimme that pumpkin, I need it!' 🎃🏀 Meanwhile, golf is out here like, 'Forget this egg, I'm sending it to the sun!' ☀️⛳️ Talk about some serious sporty shenanigans!"
5 months ago
Share →: A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Commentary:
"Ah, the designated hitter – the team's trusty savior when the rest of them have had a few too many curveballs! 🍻⚾️ Better watch out for those home runs… and hangovers! 😄"