Funny quotes hour

35 Funny hour quotes

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Funny Quotes Mar 9, 2025

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Feb 22, 2025

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Funny Quotes Feb 4, 2025

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025