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54 Funny humor quote quotes

New funny humor quote quotes 👇

  • I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

    Commentary:
    “When I crank up Metallica, my neighbors join the live concert! 🎸🤘😅”

  • For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

    Commentary:
    “Living that night owl life, dreaming of sleeping in earlier! 🌜🛌😴”

  • I’m running out of people I like.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like I need to start a campaign to recruit more likeable humans! 😅🤔 #LimitedSupply #CastingCall”

  • Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

    Commentary:
    “Following my lead: the express lane to comically epic failure! 🎢🤣 #GuideToDisappointment”

  • Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

    Commentary:
    “Are you the worst-case scenario, or just my latest obsession? Either way, you’re living rent-free in my head! 🤔😂🧠”

  • He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

    …

    Commentary:
    “Yeah, he’s just really dedicated to the cause of *social* media justice! 😂📢 #AllyOrAddicted?”

  • “She’s so self-centered.” Who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

    👇

    Commentary:
    “Of course, my life revolves around someone else… I just wish they’d stop spinning! 🌀😂”

  • Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

    Commentary:
    “Sounds like you’re just one culinary mystery away from a Michelin star! 😂🍽️🔍”

  • Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

    Commentary:
    “Don’t worry, angel, I’ll form a support group with the unicorns 🦄 and rainbows 🌈 to handle all this overwhelming perfection!”

  • My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

    Commentary:
    “Story of my life: always parking my heart’s hopes in the ‘No Cars Allowed’ zone! 🏍️💔😂”

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