I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”. Posted on4 days ago
I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream. Posted on5 days ago
If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van. Posted on5 days ago
I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on. Posted on6 days ago
Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor. Posted on1 week ago
As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it. Posted on1 week ago
It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man. Posted on1 week ago
There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka. Posted on1 week ago
Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down. Posted on1 week ago
I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure. Posted on1 week ago
“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you. Posted on2 weeks ago
Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream. Posted on2 weeks ago
The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house. Posted on2 weeks ago
When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Posted on2 weeks ago