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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,793

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Spotted on YouTube:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Trending via WeChat:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Going viral on Discord:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Spotted on Telegram:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Spotted on Discord:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Freshly posted on Threads:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

26 Funny intimacy quotes

Funny intimacy quotes bring a cheeky twist to those private moments 💕😄 Whether you’re looking to spark laughter in your love life or just enjoy a playful take on closeness, these witty lines add humor and warmth 🔥😂 Get ready to smile, blush, and maybe even snort with delight as intimacy meets irresistible comedy! 💑🤣 Let the fun begin!

New funny intimacy quotes 👇

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

0

1 month ago

glasses, hottest, humor, i, intimacy, place, put, relationship, safe, safety, sex, take
The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

0

2 months ago

attraction, before, cannibalism, funny observation, glimpse, hot, humor, intimacy, kiss, kissing, love, moment, moments, observation, people, romance, seeing
“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

0

2 months ago

again, communication, goodbye, humor, interaction, intimacy, irony, never, person, relationship, silence, social, social interaction, something, speaking
I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

0

2 months ago

breath, humor, i, intimacy, locked, morning, morning breath, point, romantic, tongue-kissing, where
The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

0

2 months ago

activity, affectionate, best, cuddle, done, fun, fun activity, humor, intimacy, lighthearted, ones, relationship, where
You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

0

2 months ago

bed, dutch, Dutch oven, embarrassment, fart, home, humor, humor at home, intimacy, joke, oven, person, prank, type, yourself
What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, humor, intimacy, kill, life, relationships, resilience, weird
I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

0

2 months ago

awkward, bark, embarrassment, forgot, humor, i, intimacy, joke, mess, moan, self-deprecating, sex, sexual, sexual humor
There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

0

2 months ago

activity, couple, date, fast, fast food, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, intimacy, lover, McDonald’s, romantic, something
The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

0

2 months ago

date, heels, humor, i, intimacy, nail, playful, relationship, sex, stay, toe, toe nail

For even more funny intimacy quotes, hit next 👇

All funny intimacy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Threads this month:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts hug you from the inside.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,815

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Going viral on Reddit:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Trending via Slack:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Making waves on Discord:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Just shared via Twitch:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Trending via Snapchat:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Breaking via Messenger:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Spotted on Discord:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Spotted on X:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

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