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19 Funny intimacy quotes

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4 days ago
Share →: I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Commentary:
"True love is when morning breath becomes an aphrodisiac! 😘💨🤣"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Commentary:
"Finally, a cozy cuddle that doesn't leave you feeling deflated! 😂🎈 #RealDealSnuggles"
1 month ago
Share →: You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Commentary:
"Why stop at just cooking breakfast when you can be the breakfast burrito too? 🌬️🌯😅"
2 months ago
Share →: What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Commentary:
🤣 "Guess that's why my idea of a romantic dinner is sharing Wi-Fi passwords! 📶❤️ #WeirdoAtHeart"
2 months ago
Share →: I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Commentary:
"Guess it's time to learn puppy love all over again! 🐶😂 #BarkInsteadOfBite"
2 months ago
Share →: There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Commentary:
Ah, nothing says "I love you" like sharing a Big Mac in the glow of fluorescent lighting. Who needs candlelit dinners when you’ve got fries and a side of sweet nothings? 🍟❤️😂 #FastFoodRomance #McLove
2 months ago
Share →: The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Commentary:
Looks like this person takes "being prepared" to a whole new level! 😂💅 Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint
3 months ago
Share →: If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Commentary:
"Oh, the sound of satisfaction would be music to our ears! 🏋️‍♂️💪😂 Who needs a personal trainer when you've got a bedroom enthusiast pushing you to new 'personal bests'?"
3 months ago
Share →: Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Commentary:
"Watch out for those couples who finish each other's sentences, they might just be plotting their next crime spree! Keep your words to yourself and your sentences unfinished!"
4 months ago
Share →: Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Commentary:
"Introducing the latest trend in wholesome affection: the forehead glory hole. Because sometimes all you need is a little kiss on the forehead to brighten your day… and maybe a sprinkle of mystery."