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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

16 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Shared recently on WeChat:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Making waves on Facebook:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Just landed via Threads:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Just landed via Snapchat:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Trending via Threads:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Spotted on Telegram:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Home » Funny Intimacy Quotes

19 Funny intimacy quotes

Funny intimacy quotes bring a cheeky twist to those private moments 💕😄 Whether you’re looking to spark laughter in your love life or just enjoy a playful take on closeness, these witty lines add humor and warmth 🔥😂 Get ready to smile, blush, and maybe even snort with delight as intimacy meets irresistible comedy! 💑🤣 Let the fun begin!

New funny intimacy quotes 👇

4 weeks ago
Share →: I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Commentary:
"True love is when morning breath becomes an aphrodisiac! 😘💨🤣"
1 month ago
Share →: The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Commentary:
"Finally, a cozy cuddle that doesn't leave you feeling deflated! 😂🎈 #RealDealSnuggles"
2 months ago
Share →: You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Commentary:
"Why stop at just cooking breakfast when you can be the breakfast burrito too? 🌬️🌯😅"
2 months ago
Share →: What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Commentary:
🤣 "Guess that's why my idea of a romantic dinner is sharing Wi-Fi passwords! 📶❤️ #WeirdoAtHeart"
2 months ago
Share →: I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Commentary:
"Guess it's time to learn puppy love all over again! 🐶😂 #BarkInsteadOfBite"
2 months ago
Share →: There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Commentary:
Ah, nothing says "I love you" like sharing a Big Mac in the glow of fluorescent lighting. Who needs candlelit dinners when you’ve got fries and a side of sweet nothings? 🍟❤️😂 #FastFoodRomance #McLove
2 months ago
Share →: The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Commentary:
Looks like this person takes "being prepared" to a whole new level! 😂💅 Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint
4 months ago
Share →: If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Commentary:
"Oh, the sound of satisfaction would be music to our ears! 🏋️‍♂️💪😂 Who needs a personal trainer when you've got a bedroom enthusiast pushing you to new 'personal bests'?"
4 months ago
Share →: Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Commentary:
"Watch out for those couples who finish each other's sentences, they might just be plotting their next crime spree! Keep your words to yourself and your sentences unfinished!"
5 months ago
Share →: Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Commentary:
"Introducing the latest trend in wholesome affection: the forehead glory hole. Because sometimes all you need is a little kiss on the forehead to brighten your day… and maybe a sprinkle of mystery."

For even more funny intimacy quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny intimacy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

16 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Making waves on Reddit:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Making waves on Discord:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Trending via Instagram:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Shared recently on X:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Going viral on X:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Live now on Threads:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

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