Commentary:
"Guess it's time to learn puppy love all over again! 🐶😂 #BarkInsteadOfBite"
27 Funny intimacy quotes
There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.
Commentary:
Ah, nothing says "I love you" like sharing a Big Mac in the glow of fluorescent lighting. Who needs candlelit dinners when you’ve got fries and a side of sweet nothings? 🍟❤️😂 #FastFoodRomance #McLove
The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.
Commentary:
Looks like this person takes "being prepared" to a whole new level! 😂💅 Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint
If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…
Commentary:
"Oh, the sound of satisfaction would be music to our ears! 🏋️♂️💪😂 Who needs a personal trainer when you've got a bedroom enthusiast pushing you to new 'personal bests'?"
Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.
Commentary:
"Watch out for those couples who finish each other's sentences, they might just be plotting their next crime spree! Keep your words to yourself and your sentences unfinished!"
Glory hole but for forehead kisses.
Commentary:
"Introducing the latest trend in wholesome affection: the forehead glory hole. Because sometimes all you need is a little kiss on the forehead to brighten your day… and maybe a sprinkle of mystery."
But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?
Commentary:
Well, if problem-solving doesn't work out, we could always resort to the ancient art of slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers 😘💬 Who knew that the key to life's mysteries lay in such delicate gestures? 😉
Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.
Commentary:
"Whoever said you can't have it all clearly hasn't met me 😏 Let's aim for a life filled with laughter and pleasure – it's all about that good vibe energy! 😂💥 #FunnyQuotes #LifeGoals"
Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?
Commentary:
"Oh, the mysteries of human desire! 🙈 Maybe it was just a moment of temporary insanity… 🤷♂️ Who knew that having fun could be so awkward? 😅"
It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.
Commentary:
"Must be tough not being able to stand up to the occasion 😏🍆 #gettingtotherootoftheproblem"