Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

4,080

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Making waves on Twitch:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Making waves on WeChat:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Live now on Facebook:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Spotted on Slack:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Making waves on TikTok:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Going bananas on Telegram:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

11 Funny joking quotes

Funny joking quotes are the perfect way to lighten the mood and bring out your inner comedian 😄🎉 Whether you’re cracking up with friends or just need a quick chuckle during a busy day, these playful lines will have you giggling in no time 😂✨ Ready to spread some smiles and share the laughs? Let’s dive into a world where humor rules and serious faces don’t stand a chance! 😜🎈

New funny joking quotes 👇

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

0

2 months ago

annoying, awkward, baking, bathroom, cake, doing, door, family, funny situation, humor, joking, privacy, situation, toilet
If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

0

2 months ago

chip, chips, food, food humor, gambling, gambling problem, game, humor, ID, joking, played, poker, potato, potato chip, problem, snack
We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, age regression, both, childhood, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, joking, me, playful, push, regression, same, swingset, time
Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

0

2 months ago

apology, bad, bad behavior, behavior, Gatorade, humor, joking, Mercury, playful, quirky, sarcasm, science, science humor, sorry, whatever
There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

0

2 months ago

actually, doing, expertise, grocery, grocery store, humor, joking, know, needs, people, sarcasm, shopping, store
I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark magic, fantasy, fun, fun quote, hesitate, humor, i, joking, magic, playful, playful threat, supernatural, threat
You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

0

2 months ago

authority, bad, boy, discipline, humor, humor quote, humor tease, joking, naughty, playful, punishment, room, tease, teasing
Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

0

2 months ago

collaboration, dream, dream work, explain, humor, individuality, joking, needs, personality, self, team, team work, work
My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

0

2 months ago

flu, humor, illness, joke, joking, kids, life, new, parenting, Pokémon, Puke-Achu, stomach, stomach flu, weeks
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

0

2 months ago

humor, joking, just, mean, people, perception, personality, sarcasm, think

For even more funny joking quotes, hit next 👇

All funny joking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

12 shares on X this month:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,074

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Going viral on WeChat:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Just shared via YouTube:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Spotted on X:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Spotted on WeChat:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴