151 Funny kid quotes

• Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

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  1 hour ago

  25, advice, after, age, before, brain, decision, girl, girls, humor, i, kid, kids, marriage, married, reasonable, relationship, us, why, working

• In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

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  3 hours ago

  80s, divorce, documentary, family, film, humor, i, kid, kids, literally, pretty, retro, saw, shrink, shrink-ray, sure, technology, wife

• Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

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  5 hours ago

  childhood, enough, family, humor, kid, kids, old, parent, parenting, problem, relationship

• My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

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  8 hours ago

  bored, boredom, enough, entertain, entertainment, family, family life, favorite, getting, humor, kid, kid boredom, kids, life, parenting, patience, point, self, self entertainment

• When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

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  9 hours ago

  age, amazing, bangers, foods, funny observation, generation, i, kid, lame, middle, middle age, morning, music, nostalgia, observation, people, played, supermarket, whole, Whole Foods, youth

• Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

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  14 hours ago

  behavior, child, child behavior, correct, humor, i, interruption, kid, kids, moment, parenting, yourself

• Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

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  14 hours ago

  algebra, family, family life, humor, kid, kids, life, marriage, married, parenting, practice, relaxation, relaxing, weeknight

• My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

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  16 hours ago

  amount, appreciate, effort, extrovert, family, humor, introvert, kid, kids, me, never, parenting, social, social effort

• Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

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  17 hours ago

  able, adulthood, alone, choice, choose, day, freedom, hear, home, humor, irony, kid, loneliness, scary, scary story, stay, stay home, story, want, whatever

• We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

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  19 hours ago

  adult, best, childhood, era, growing, growing up, humor, kid, life, life stage, nostalgia, stage, worst

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