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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,739

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Breaking via Messenger:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Making waves on Instagram:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Live now on Discord:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Just landed via X:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Just landed via X:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Making waves on Instagram:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Trending via Instagram:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Home » Funny Kid Quotes

144 Funny kid quotes

Funny kid quotes capture the innocent (and often hilariously honest) things children say and do! 😂👶 Whether it’s their unique take on the world, unexpected questions, or their out-of-the-blue antics, these quotes remind us that kids bring laughter and pure joy to every situation. Because kids might be small, but their humor is HUGE! 😆🧸🎈

New funny kid quotes 👇

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

0

5 hours ago

belief, believe, childhood, ever, family, holiday, humor, kid, kids, parent, parents, pretend, pretending, Santa
My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

0

2 days ago

Christmas, Christmas Eve, eve, favorite, house, i, kid, kids, Santa, spotless, tell, tradition, where
Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

0

2 days ago

before, belief, believe, better, cristiano, Cristiano Ronaldo, debate, football, footballer, grown, grown man, humor, kid, kids, laugh, lionel, Lionel Messi, man, men, messi, remember, ronaldo, Santa, sports, sports debate
Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

0

5 days ago

childhood, enough, family, humor, kid, kids, old, parent, parenting, problem
Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

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1 week ago

always, away, childhood, dream, ever, far, far away, galaxy, humor, i, kid, live, sci-fi, space, wanted, wish
As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

0

1 week ago

cheating, childhood, Christmas, claus, family, humor, i, kid, kissing, misunderstanding, mommy, Santa, Santa Claus, saw, song, thought, understand
Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

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2 weeks ago

believe, brother, brothers, childhood, humor, i, Kane, kid, kids, let, misconception, Santa, undertaker, wrestling
Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

0

2 weeks ago

complain, cute, humor, i, irony, kid, kids, parent, spoil, spoiled
My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

0

2 weeks ago

answer, dinner, family, going, happy, humor, kid, kids, know, mealtime, parenting, question, sarcasm, want
My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

0

2 weeks ago

child, equivalent, family, father, humor, joke, kid, kids, parenting, sibling, time, want, zero

For even more funny kid quotes, hit next 👇

All funny kid quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on TikTok this month:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

83 shares on Discord this month:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

7 folks are currently checking 👀

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,720

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Going viral on X:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Just shared via TikTok:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Going viral on Facebook:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Making waves on Reddit:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Trending via Facebook:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

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