168 Funny kids quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

  Commentary:
  "Unleashing the hidden treasures of the earth, one never-ending pile of laundry at a time! 🌎🧺 Who knew being an Earth explorer could also mean mastering the art of folding fitted sheets? 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

  Commentary:
  "Chores – the ultimate character-building activity that also doubles as a crash course in the art of procrastination 🧹💼 Who knew doing dishes could prepare you for all-nighters in college and last-minute work deadlines? Parenting, where mundane tasks become valuable life lessons!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

  Commentary:
  "Three words that strike fear into the hearts of parents everywhere: 'Come on in.' 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ Because we all know that's where chaos and mess await! 😂 #ParentingStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ultimate parent revenge plan: Revenge of the Hangry Parents! 🍔🍟👨‍👧‍👦 Watch out, future adults, your turn to feed the fam is coming! 😂 #PaybackTime"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the horror! 🛒💪🏼😱 It was a struggle of epic proportions for those brave souls. Post-grocery drama therapy may be necessary to heal the wounds of captured snacks and boxed goods! 😂🍎 #ParentingProblems #HardKnockLife

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs kids when you have piping hot coffee to keep you company? ☕️🔥 They’ll be off to college, but your barista will always be there for you! 😂 #CoffeeOverKids"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the bridge was having a 'bear'y serious moment for a 'pawsitively' hilarious reason! 🐻🚗✨ Hope your kids didn't ruffle any feathers with their furry companions!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

  Commentary:
  Ah, those carefree days of yore when we couldn't wait to be adults, only to realize that bills and responsibility were major buzzkills 🤦‍♂️🙈 Who needs naptime and recess when you can have taxes and deadlines, right? #AdultingFail

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

  Commentary:
  "My imaginary child is always entertaining me with deep philosophical questions 🤔👶 #HallucinationOrImagination"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

  Commentary:
  😂 "When your kids embarrass you in public, just remember to play the classic parental card: turn away dramatically, mutter 'Who raised you?' and maybe even throw in a facepalm for good measure. It's the ultimate parent power move! 🤦‍♂️👉👧👦 #ParentingStruggles #WhoRaisedYou"

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