55 Funny knows quotes

• I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

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  2 hours ago

  asked, boss, conversation, employee, everyone, hire, hiring, humor, i, insult, joke, knows, me, people, remember, stupid, stupidity, told, work

• I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

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  7 hours ago

  body, calorie, diet, eating, food, humor, i, knows, love, metabolism, never, once, starvation, surprise

• The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

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  7 hours ago

  addiction, algorithm, denial, humor, knows, media, preference, social, social media, technology, temptation, thing, yourself

• I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

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  9 hours ago

  boyfriend, dating, humor, i, identity, knows, love, man, name, new, nickname, nobody, relationship, saying, secrecy

• I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

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  12 hours ago

  calling, everything, grok, guy, humor, i, know-it-all, knows, new, new guy, nickname, office, started, work

• I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

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  18 hours ago

  communication, even, humor, husband, i, knows, misunderstanding, relationship, silence, speaking, think

• Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

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  20 hours ago

  best, better, circle, comparison, doing, food, humor, i, knows, life, me, pizza, rat, routine, social, social circle, sometimes, Subway, subway rat, think, urban, urban life, where

• Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

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  23 hours ago

  am, attention, battle, complaining, complaint, everyone, except, fighting, honesty, humor, i, know, knows, loud, me, struggle, transparency

• Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

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  24 hours ago

  animal, animals, closing, everyone, having, humiliating, humiliation, humor, hungry, i, knows, link, me, sunburn, survival, unprepared, weakness, wilderness

• Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

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  1 day ago

  chimney, cooking, deep, exist, free, freedom, hideaway, house, imagination, imagine, inside, knows, living, mushroom, mushroom house, nature, peaceful, pot, solitude, soup, tiny, tiny house, woods

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