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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Dec 30, 2025

3,865

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Live now on Slack:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Trending via Discord:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Live now on Slack:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Live now on Threads:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Spotted on Twitch:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

1354 Funny life quotes

Funny life quotes offer a light-hearted look at the twists and turns of everyday existence! 😄🌟 From humorous takes on the ups and downs to witty observations about life’s little moments, these quotes bring a smile to your face and a laugh to your day. Embrace the joy and comedy in living! 😂🌈

New funny life quotes 👇

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

0

1 hour ago

15, animal, animals, humor, instinct, know, life, life skill, minutes, newborn, old, skill
In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

0

1 hour ago

academic, emotional, emotionally, financial, life, struggle, student, student life, three, university
I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

0

19 hours ago

ago, anything, before, ChatGPT, humor, i, interaction, internet, life, online, online interaction, Reddit, someone, trust, using
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

0

1 day ago

action, daily, daily life, day, every, fix, humor, internet, life, media, observation, social, social media, stupid, watch
The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

0

1 day ago

aging, being, humor, hurry, i, life, live, older, realization, realize, terrible
For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

0

7 days ago

Christmas, confusion, figure, holiday, humor, ID, life, self-improvement, wish
You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

0

2 weeks ago

acquaintance, again, casual, casual acquaintance, chill, day, interaction, life, lol, never, social, social interaction, someone, university, whole
If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

0

2 weeks ago

adversity, guy, humor, just, life, motivation, nobody, remember, right, sarcasm, struggle, worse
Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

0

2 weeks ago

game, games, getting, girlfriend, humor, life, once, pandemic, quitting, real, relationship, social, social life, video, video game
Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

0

2 weeks ago

Elon, Elon Musk, ever, exactly, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, musk, read, social, social media, stupid, tweet

For even more funny life quotes, hit next 👇

All funny life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Instagram this month:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

12 shares on Discord this month:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Broadcasted on Threads:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Just shared via Facebook:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Just landed via TikTok:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Just shared via Threads:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Spotted on Telegram:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

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