876 Funny life quotes

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  9 hours ago

  Share →: Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

  Commentary:
  "Why stop at just friends and smartphones? I keep my cat, snacks, and remote closer too! Priorities, right? 📱😸🍕📺"

• 

  12 hours ago

  Share →: If every day is a gift, today is socks.

  Commentary:
  "Socks today? Well, at least it's not another fruitcake! 🎁🧦😂"

• 

  12 hours ago

  Share →: When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

  Commentary:
  "In a mood-lifting mission! 🕊️ Free the blocked, spread the cheer! 😂 #PardonThePrisoners"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to keep my flame alive while dodging strong gusts of reality! 😂🕯️💨"

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

  Commentary:
  "Exactly! If 15 people complimented me in person, I'd immediately start a fashion blog. 😂👗📸 #FeelingFabulous"

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

  Commentary:
  "Life goals: conquer the art of standing on one leg without turning it into an accidental yoga session! 🧘‍♂️🤣🩲"

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine if our phones could just zap people into 'silent mode' in real life! 😂🔇 #DreamOn"

• 

  4 days ago

  Share →: A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

  Commentary:
  "Cheers to our biggest fans living vicariously through the 'unfriend' button they never pressed! 🕵️‍♂️🙃 #AwkwardFrenemies"

• 

  4 days ago

  Share →: How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

  Commentary:
  "LOL, self-love is the best love! 💁‍♀️❤️ #SelfPartnered #MeMyselfAndI"

• 

  4 days ago

  Share →: Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

  Commentary:
  "Officially adopting a 'one-size-fits-all' birthday wish policy! 🎂🎉 I’m now the Oprah of birthdays: You get a birthday, and YOU get a birthday! 😅💌"

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