Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Shared recently on Threads:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Going viral on Messenger:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You are the Monday of my life.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Just landed via Instagram:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on X this month:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

36 shares on X this month:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

59 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Trending via X:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Trending via X:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Shared recently on X:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Trending via Messenger:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Just shared via Slack:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

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