Funny quotes man

108 Funny man quotes

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Funny Quotes Mar 14, 2025

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Funny Quotes Feb 28, 2025

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Funny Quotes Feb 18, 2025

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Funny Quotes Feb 5, 2025

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025