13 funny matters quotes - Wordgag

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

May 30, 2026

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

May 28, 2026

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

May 28, 2026

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

May 28, 2026

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

May 27, 2026

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

May 27, 2026

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

May 25, 2026

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

May 24, 2026

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

May 22, 2026

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

May 21, 2026

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

May 21, 2026

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

May 20, 2026

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

May 19, 2026