82 Funny mean quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

  Commentary:
  "Well, who doesn't want friends with benefits? Just make sure those benefits also come with a view! 🌊🚤🏝️ #FriendshipGoals #LivingTheGoodLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

  Commentary:
  "Who says going topless is only for cars and beaches? 🚗🏖️ Embrace the topless trend and flaunt that brain power! 🧠💪 #BrainsOverBrawn"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

  Commentary:
  "No worries, I was just marinating in the suspense of waiting for your reply like a fine wine aging to perfection 🍷. Isn't leaving someone on read the modern-day equivalent of a cliffhanger in a soap opera? 🤔 #UnintentionalDrama"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal conundrum of youthful decisions immortalized in ink! 💸🤷‍♂️ Lesson learned: always think twice before getting that tattoo… or managing a sum of money! 😆 #InkRegrets

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

  Commentary:
  "If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean it. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood – because who needs luck when you've got wealthy neighbors to share the riches with? 💸🤑🏘️ #SpreadTheWealth"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

  Commentary:
  Absolutely! 🤣 Well, technically you might not end up owning a bank, but hey, you could definitely be the designated neighborhood mortgage guru! 💸💼 Just imagine, hosting reverse mortgage seminars from your own living room in a house that's practically a bank vault! 🏦💰 Who knew homeownership could come with a side hustle! 😂 #MortgageMastermind

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the subtle British way of saying 'Get in line, mate!' 🇬🇧😄 Who knew a simple question could hide so much sass! Next time someone asks, just kindly nod and work on your queuing skills 😉👀"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, I can't fake it anymore – my 'pretend to like you' days are behind me, just like my ability to pull an all-nighter without feeling it the next day. 😜👵 #KeepingItReal #NoFilter"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

  Commentary:
  "Those food-sharing couples must have unlocked the ultimate level of love where giving away a fry is a grand gesture! 🍟❤️ Either that or they have mastered the art of snacking without getting hangry! 😂 #RelationshipGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

  Commentary:
  Oh, when she busts out the "so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean" card, you better start preparing yourself for a bumpy ride! 🙈 It's like entering the no man's land of miscommunication and awkwardness. Proceed with caution, my friend! 😅

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