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22 Funny medical quotes

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025
I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025
I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025
Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025
If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025
Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025
My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025
My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025
Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Funny Quotes Jan 19, 2025
Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Funny Quotes Jan 19, 2025