45 Funny medical quotes

• Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

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  2 months ago

  assteroid, hemorrhoid, humor, joke, medical, medical humor, medical joke, play, play on words, pun, why, wordplay, words

• Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

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  2 months ago

  body, doctor, health, humor, joke, laugh, magnesium, me, medical, OMG, pun, run

• If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

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  2 months ago

  dating, dating show, device, entertainment, estimate, estimation, exaggeration, humor, medical, medical device sales, number, only, people, population, reality, reality TV, sales, satire, show, shows, states, TV, us, US population, work

• Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

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  2 months ago

  anyone, brain, brain surgery, ChatGPT, else, humor, irony, medical, middle, neurosurgeon, stress, surgery, technology

• At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

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  2 months ago

  appendicitis, Barbie, Barbie doll, Doc, doll, help, humor, joke, me, medical, medical humor, plastic, plastic surgeon, plastic surgery, please, surgeon, surgery, toy

• My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

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  2 months ago

  brain, concern, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guessing, headache, health, health concern, humor, lack, malnutrition, medical, medical humor, migraine, poor, posture, sleep, stress

• For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

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  2 months ago

  call, doctor, humor, i, joke, just, medical, medical profession, misunderstanding, oncologist, profession, thought, times

• My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

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  2 months ago

  children, degree, family, frequent, frequent visits, healthcare, humor, kids, medical, medical degree, nurse, parenting, visits

• Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

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  2 months ago

  day, doctor, hammer, healthcare, humor, just, medical, medical profession, need, profession, relief, rubber, rubber hammer, stress, stress relief, tension

• Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

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  2 months ago

  appendix, comparison, humor, joke, me, medical, relationship, useless

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