Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Spotted on Twitch:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Going viral on Discord:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Just shared via Twitch:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Just shared via Instagram:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

16 Funny menu quotes

More funny menu quotes 👇

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

2 months ago

after, ancient, bell, boy, cat, cats, girl, goddess, humor, items, menu, names, pets, stereotypes, taco, Taco Bell
My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

3 months ago

age, dining, help, humor, husband, loud, marriage, menu, questions, reading, send, where, whole
Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

3 months ago

ask, asking, conversation, humor, joke, menu, pharmacy, secret, secret menu
Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

3 months ago

best, dining, forgetfulness, forgot, glasses, hoping, humor, menu, mishap, pointing, random, spot
Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

3 months ago

bean, bean and cheese, burrito, burrito menu, cheese, comparison, degree, food, food price, humor, irony, job, job posting, master’s degree, Masters, menu, posting, price, price comparison, salary
Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

3 months ago

code, dining, experience, humor, irony, live, menu, moment, phone, put, qr, QR code, restaurant, technology

For even more funny menu quotes, hit next 👇

All funny menu quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Discord this month:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

98 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Making waves on Threads:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Spotted on Messenger:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

Breaking via Slack:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Shared recently on X:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Trending via Messenger:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

16 Funny menu quotes

More funny menu quotes 👇

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

All funny menu quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨