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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

After much deliberation, Iโ€™ve come to the conclusion that Iโ€™m an overthinker.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then youโ€™ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, Iโ€™ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Bought a house plant so I wouldnโ€™t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Slack:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Spotted on Instagram:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Adult friendships are like, โ€œhey girl, letโ€™s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.โ€

Spreading quickly via X:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Making waves on X:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Just landed via Threads:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Trending via Messenger:

I donโ€™t weigh myself because most scales donโ€™t know how heavy all the grudges Iโ€™m holding onto are.

Spotted on Messenger:

I want to be rich enough where Iโ€™m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

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Social Media Stars โญ

24 shares on X this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am a fool everyday, I donโ€™t need a holiday for it.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

93 shares on Facebook this month:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people whoโ€™s lives are complete train wrecks.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I overthink, therefore I am.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

My plant is drunk, itโ€™s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Itโ€™s crazy that you donโ€™t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

As a kid, I didnโ€™t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Pinterest:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The Netflix โ€œRecommended For Youโ€ list is why I have trust issues.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Just shared via Messenger:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Breaking via Messenger:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Spotted on X:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Going viral on Slack:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, thatโ€™s why trolling them is so vital.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you drink a lot of water, you wonโ€™t have time for other peopleโ€™s drama because youโ€™ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Trending via Slack:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

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