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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has copied:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption β€œCome on, guys.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has copied:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has copied:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has shared:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has downloaded:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on YouTube:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I love when my grandma texts me β€” because I know it took her an hour.

Going viral on Twitch:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Just shared via Reddit:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Spotted on Telegram:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

19 Funny midnight quotes

Funny midnight quotes capture the humor of those late-night moments. πŸŒ™πŸ˜† From witty remarks about insomnia to playful jabs at the quirks of staying up until the witching hour, these quotes highlight the lighter side of the midnight hour. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the fun of those sleepless nights! πŸ˜‚πŸŒŒ

New funny midnight quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny midnight quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny midnight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Discord this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

87 shares on X this month:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In high school I was voted β€œmost likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has copied:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has copied:

β€œIs everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has copied:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has copied:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has shared:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Threads:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Going viral on Telegram:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Making waves on TikTok:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Going viral on TikTok:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

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