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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1852 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,014

Funny Quotes Topics

14,811

Funny Quotes Images

12,014

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Live now on LinkedIn:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Spotted on Instagram:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Live now on YouTube:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Going viral on X:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Just shared via Twitch:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Broadcasted on Slack:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Home » Funny Military Time Quotes

Funny military time quotes

New funny military time quotes 👇

For even more funny military time quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny military time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1852 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,014

Funny Quotes Topics

14,811

Funny Quotes Images

12,014

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Shared recently on Threads:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Reported on Discord:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Making waves on Messenger:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

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