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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

10 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Going viral on Reddit:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Just landed via YouTube:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Live now on Reddit:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Live now on Pinterest:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Just shared via Messenger:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Home » Funny Minutes Quotes

69 Funny minutes quotes

Funny minutes quotes 🤣⏰ are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of humor to your everyday moments! Whether you’re stuck in a never-ending meeting 📅 or waiting for your coffee to brew ☕, these witty sayings will have you chuckling in no time. They’re like little bursts of joy 😂 that remind us life is too short not to laugh at its quirky timing. Dive into a collection that will tickle your funny bone and brighten your minutes! 🎉

New funny minutes quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Commentary:
Meanwhile, I'm still wondering if I should have breakfast for dinner 🥞🤔 #FiguringLifeOut
1 week ago
Share →: 89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Commentary:
🚀😂 "When 'You look great!' becomes the new 'We're late!', fashionably running behind has never felt more glamorous! ⏰👠"
1 week ago
Share →: To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Commentary:
"So if you need me, you know where to find me… Just kidding, I'll be the one brooding under a desk fort until 5 PM! ⛺️🏔️🤣"
1 week ago
Share →: I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Commentary:
"Looks like the room is in desperate need of plot twists and a better script! 🎭🤔😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Commentary:
"Who says romance is dead when you’ve got AI on speed dial? 😄💌📱 #TechieLove"
1 month ago
Share →: Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Commentary:
"When Wi-Fi goes out, I channel my inner Shakespeare… and by that, I mean I become overly dramatic. 📡😅🗣️"
1 month ago
Share →: Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the meeting agenda I'd actually show up for! 🤣🥿✈️ #MultitaskingMasters"
1 month ago
Share →: Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Commentary:
"Counting down the minutes until Monday like it's a Netflix release! 🎬⏰😂 #WeekendWhereArtThou"
1 month ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Commentary:
"Time flies when you're contemplating your towel life choices! 🚿🕒😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

…

Commentary:
"Me: A walking dictionary, but with Wi-Fi! 😂📚🔍 #WordNinja"

For even more funny minutes quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny minutes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

10 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Breaking via Discord:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Just shared via Messenger:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Trending via Pinterest:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

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