102 Funny minutes quotes

• I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

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  1 week ago

  20, content, content creation, creation, i, just, minutes, miss, nostalgia, online, online video, record, recording, thing, unedited, upload, video, whole, YouTuber

• I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

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  1 week ago

  5, again, am, appearance, dating, desperate, desperation, dinner, enough, humor, i, identify, identity, just, me, microwave, microwave dinner, minutes, nothing, photos, ready, ready in 5 minutes, satisfaction, sexual, sexual identity, want

• Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

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  1 week ago

  15, animal, animals, humor, instinct, know, life, life skill, minutes, newborn, old, skill

• If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

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  1 week ago

  anything, bottle, drinking, ever, fact, humor, just, know, me, minutes, personal, socializing, wanted, wine

• I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

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  1 week ago

  50, 6, care, dental, dental hygiene, flossing, got, humor, hygiene, last, minutes, months, oral, oral care, pressure, procrastination, time, time pressure

• I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

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  1 week ago

  3, 30, add, day, every, exaggeration, exercise, game, humor, i, management, minutes, miss, next, procrastination, run, running, time, time management, tomorrow, truly, weeks, workout

• I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

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  1 week ago

  attitude, bad, being, coping, coping mechanism, emotions, fun, humor, making, mechanism, minutes, sad, sadness, self-deprecation, situation, three

• I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

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  1 week ago

  boss, caught, i, kid, kids, later, me, minutes, office, outside, pot, prank, smoking, smoking pot, workplace

• If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

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  1 week ago

  30, again, agree, anger, back, board, board of directors, chat, communication, conflict, conflict resolution, directors, forgiveness, friends, group, group chat, humor, later, mad, means, minutes, relationship, resolution, told

• I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

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  1 week ago

  30, break, chore, chores, humor, i, laziness, management, minutes, procrastination, time, time management

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