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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Going viral on YouTube:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Just shared via Telegram:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Just landed via Telegram:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Spotted on YouTube:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Live now on Slack:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Seen just now on Discord:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Live now on WeChat:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

35 Funny mistakes quotes

Funny mistakes quotes 🤪 are the perfect way to remind us that everyone slips up sometimes, and that’s okay! 😂 These gems of wisdom add a dash of humor to our blunders, turning facepalms into giggles. Whether it’s a typo that said “duck” instead of… well, you know 🦆, or a classic mix-up, these quotes celebrate the hilarity in human error. So, buckle up and get ready to laugh at life’s little oopsies! 🎉

New funny mistakes quotes 👇

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

3 hours ago

C, calculator, CE, clear, confusion, humor, i, math, mistakes, technology, times
Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

23 hours ago

habit, humor, irony, keep, learning, mistake, mistakes, new, old, ones, procrastination, repetition, same, self-awareness, why
America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

2 weeks ago

America, best, country, humor, irony, learning, mistake, mistakes, politics, truly, world
Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

2 months ago

calls, cheese, cooking, food, humor, life, lot, mistake, mistakes, recipe
They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

2 months ago

comedy, genius, humor, intelligence, learn, learning, making, mistake, mistakes, sarcasm, say, self-deprecating, soon, why, wit
The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

2 months ago

bigger, even, failure, forget, humor, humor quote, irony, learning, life, mistake, mistakes, only, past, present
Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

2 months ago

email, every, gamble, humble, humility, humor, keep, me, mistakes, technology, typo, writing
People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

2 months ago

absolutely, admit, confession, disgust, ever, humor, i, irony, me, mistake, mistakes, people, sarcasm, self-awareness
I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

2 months ago

amount, cooking, ever, food, humor, i, kitchen, mistakes, pasta, right, think
Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

2 months ago

crime, crime genre, documentary, entertainment, genre, humor, i, learn, learning, mistakes, sarcastic, true, true crime, watching, witty

For even more funny mistakes quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mistakes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Just landed via Reddit:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Just shared via X:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The world started without permission again.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Just shared via Reddit:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Going viral on X:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Just shared via Discord:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

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