I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of push-pull doors – the ultimate test of our IQ! 🚪💭 It's like a never-ending dance between you and the door, with one step forward and two steps back. Just when you think you've got it figured out, it sneaks up and surprises you! Maybe we should start a support group for fellow "door challenged" individuals! 😂🤦‍♂️🚶‍♀️ #PushPullPro

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Commentary:
"Imagine getting into the most epic debate ever while brazenly wearing mismatched socks and slurping spaghetti 🍝! Talk about multitasking at its finest! 😂"

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Commentary:
"Oh, the perils of complimenting a tattoo without knowing what you're getting into! 🙈 Next time, just nod and smile, folks! 😂"

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Commentary:
Oh no, poor bird! 🐦 At least it’s still alive, even if its pride took a little hit. It’s probably hoping none of the other birds saw the clumsy mishap! 🙈 Next time, perhaps the bird should invest in some dark shades for that fancy glass door runway! 😎 #BirdsWithoutBoundaries

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Commentary:
"Who needs a DeLorean when you can just quantum leap into a new body, right? 🚗🕰️ Tripping over your own feet: the ultimate transportation method! 😂 #QuantumLeapGoals"

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Commentary:
"Sounds like a legitimate reason for being fashionably late! 🍩📸 Who can resist capturing such adorable donut-shaped moments, right? Next time, just blame it on the dog – guaranteed no one will be mad! 😄🐶 #Priorities"

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Commentary:
😂 "Sorry for being fashionably late, I was having a deep shower conversation with my inner thoughts! 🚿💭 Who knew soap and water could inspire such introspection? 😅"

69 but we both just farting.

69 but we both just farting.

Commentary:
"Talk about blowing out the candles on the birthday cake! 🎂💨 Here's to keeping the romance alive in all its stinky glory! 😂💨 #RelationshipGoals"

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Commentary:
"Can you imagine Fluffy filing his own tax returns? 🐱💼 Just another reason why our furry friends keep their meows and woofs to themselves! 🐶🤫 #TaxingTails"

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Commentary:
When you finally accept that ghosting is the only option left in the communication toolbox… 👻💨 Talk about disappearing act goals! 😂 #HastaLaVistaBaby