235 Funny moment quotes
In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.
“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.
Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.
(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?
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My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.
I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.
Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.
No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.