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Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

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I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

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A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

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The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

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Work beers should be a daily thing.

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Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

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I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

14,923

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Updated

Dec 12, 2025

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I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

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Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

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Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Just landed via Threads:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

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If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Home » Funny Monthly Budget Quotes

Funny monthly budget quotes

New funny monthly budget quotes 👇

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

5 days ago
budget, finance, humor, i, money, monthly, monthly budget, personal, personal finance, sarcasm, tight, tight budget, whisper

All funny monthly budget quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

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Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

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Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

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I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

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They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

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I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

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Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

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If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

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On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

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Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

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Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Trending via Facebook:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

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Funny monthly budget quotes

New funny monthly budget quotes 👇

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

All funny monthly budget quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

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