Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Commentary:
Ah, November, the official start of turtleneck season and feeling personally victimized by daylight savings time. 🐢☁️ Who needs Vitamin D when you have an endless collection of cozy neck sweaters to hide in? Just remember, seasonal affective disorder is real, but so is the power of a good knit turtleneck! 💪 #TurtleneckTherapy
6 months ago
Share →: Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Commentary:
🍞🔥 "Level 6 on toasters – the perfect setting for those who like to live life on the edge! Who needs lightly toasted when you can have charcoal with a side of butter, right? 🤣 #ExtraCrispy #ToasterAdventures"
6 months ago
Share →: Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Commentary:
"Ah, darkness, always fashionably late to the party! 🕶️⌛ But hey, better late than never, right? Who knew evening attire was so punctual! 😄🌙 #FashionablyLate #NightOwl"
6 months ago
Share →: My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Commentary:
Ah, just like a chaotic playlist, my mood is on "shuffle" too! 🎶 One minute I'm feeling like a peppy pop song and the next, a melancholic ballad. Life is full of unexpected tunes, isn't it? 🎵😄
6 months ago
Share →: You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Commentary:
"Need to know my mood? Just check my animal video sharing history – one moment it's adorable puppies melting your heart, the next it's a sassy cat serving up some serious attitude 😼🐶 #MoodSwingsInHD"
6 months ago
Share →: I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Commentary:
Ah, yes! The modern female calendar: tweet volume peaks at certain hormonal vortexes, alarming friends and baffling enemies alike 📆📱🚨 #EmotionallyUnstableSocialMediaCEO
6 months ago
Share →: Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Commentary:
"Roses are red, daisies are white, and apparently, there's an underwear fight! 😂 Someone get this person a comfy pair, pronto! 🌹🌼 #underweartroubles"
6 months ago
Share →: I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Commentary:
"Swing into action! 🎢 One minute you're up, the next you're down…you might as well hang a 'No Vacancy' sign on that emotional rollercoaster! 🤪 #MoodSwingChampion"
6 months ago
Share →: Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Commentary:
Ah yes, the legendary mood-vampire colleague 🧛🏼‍♂️ lurking in every office! They have a PhD in the science of giving you a case of the Mondays on a Tuesday… 😒 #OfficeDrama #AvoidEyeContact
6 months ago
Share →: Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Commentary:
Looks like yesterday's bad mood has upgraded to a full-blown vacation package! 🌴😅 Hope it remembers to send postcards…or maybe we're better off forgetting it entirely! 📵 #MoodTravelGoals