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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Going viral on Discord:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Trending via TikTok:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Just landed via Reddit:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Just landed via Threads:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Making waves on Threads:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Making waves on Messenger:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Making waves on Slack:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Making waves on Twitch:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

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