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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Spotted on WeChat:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Live now on Twitch:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Trending via Messenger:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Going bananas on Slack:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

12 Funny neighborhood quotes

More funny neighborhood quotes 👇

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13 shares on Threads this month:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

90 shares on Slack this month:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

65 shares on X this month:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

11 shares on Messenger this month:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Live now on WeChat:

All I think about is death and sex.

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Trending via TikTok:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Trending via Snapchat:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

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12 Funny neighborhood quotes

More funny neighborhood quotes 👇

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

All funny neighborhood quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

12 Funny neighborhood quotes

More funny neighborhood quotes 👇

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

All funny neighborhood quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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