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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,851

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Trending via Pinterest:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Shared recently on Threads:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Seen just now on Discord:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Just landed via Slack:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Spotted on Facebook:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Just shared via WeChat:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Home » Funny Never Quotes » Page 41

428 Funny never quotes

More funny never quotes 👇

4 months ago

Commentary:
At least you won't be losing beauty sleep! 😴😂✨

confidence, crazy, humor, i, knowing, never, night, self-acceptance, sleep, ugly
4 months ago

Commentary:
Chasing toddlers with markers should be an Olympic sport! 🏃‍♂️🎨🤣

chase, done, funny situation, house, humor, i, never, open, parenting, parkour, Sharpie, situation, through, toddler
4 months ago

Commentary:
Oh yeah, "I'll see" is the ultimate RSVP for the socially averse 😂🚫🙅‍♂️

avoidance, cancel, coming, commitment, even, excuse, excuse phrase, flake, humor, never, no show, phrase, sarcasm, show
4 months ago

Commentary:
Sounds like I need to add "mind reader" to my resume… or maybe just "professional forgetter"! 🙃🧠🚶‍♂️

advice, emotional, emotional health, forgetting, health, humor, memory, mindset, move, move on, never, own, reality, relationship, sanity
4 months ago

Commentary:
Revolutionary dating strategy: discover the mystery of a woman by asking absolutely nothing 😅🕵️‍♂️🙈

ask, communication, conversation, dating, humor, irony, men, met, never, personality, question, questions, relationship, say, yourself, zero
4 months ago

Commentary:
Looks like my brain needs to hire some extra staff! 📱🤯😂

am, communication, excuse, humor, i, just, message, messages, never, okay, person, reply, texting, understaffed
4 months ago

Commentary:
Parenting: the ultimate extrovert marathon for introverts 🚶‍♂️😅🏃‍♂️🎉

amount, appreciate, effort, extrovert, family, humor, introvert, kid, kids, me, never, parenting, social, social effort
4 months ago

Commentary:
The eternal struggle: wanting to wash your troubles away but realizing you might have to leave the house wearing a bedsheet! 😅👗🧺

clothes, daily, daily life, fresh, fresh start, heartbreak, humor, laundry, life, literally, never, realize, right, start, wash, washing, wear
4 months ago

Commentary:
Why do we keep those boxes? Are we secretly hoping to use them as tiny condos for our chargers? 📦📱😂

advice, away, box, came, hear, humor, i, know, millennial, need, needs, never, phone, throw, throw away
4 months ago

Commentary:
That's because AI takes breaks faster than a coffee machine on Fridays! ☕🤖

AI, company, company time, humor, i, joke, never, productivity, steal, time, work

For even more funny never quotes, hit next 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

4,061

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Seen just now on Messenger:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Spotted on Facebook:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Making waves on Telegram:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Seen just now on Discord:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

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