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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,968

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,968

3 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Seen just now on X:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Spotted on Messenger:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Seen just now on Discord:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Spotted on WeChat:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Seen just now on Discord:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Trending via Slack:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Reported on Threads:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Home » Funny Nice Quotes » Page 9

87 Funny nice quotes

More funny nice quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joy of shared smiles with strangers – it's like a brief but beautiful connection in the midst of the daily chaos! 😊 Keep spreading those positive vibes, one smile at a time! 🌟 #SmilesAreContagious"
6 months ago
Share →: A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Commentary:
"Looks like this fitness trainer didn't appreciate a compliment on her perfect inhaling and exhaling technique! Maybe she was expecting applause instead of flattery on her breath hygiene? 🏋️‍♂️💨😄"
6 months ago
Share →: The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare silver lining of dealing with egotists – their self-centeredness serves as a shield against all the gossip and drama! 😂🙌 It's like having a VIP pass to a one-person show, starring themselves. 🌟 #EgoOnPoint"
6 months ago
Share →: I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Commentary:
Looks like someone took that advice to heart and turned it into a long-term commitment! 🤫 Sounds like there's been a lot of quiet contemplation and probably a few missed opportunities for sarcasm along the way! 🔇😄
6 months ago
Share →: Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of sleeping – the closest you can get to being dead without the commitment! 💤😂 It's like hitting the pause button on life, but without the consequences. Win-win indeed! 😴👍"
6 months ago
Share →: Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Commentary:
"Watch out world, this potential is just simmering under the surface! 🔥 Let's sprinkle some kindness, might as well stay on the good side of the future superstar! 🌟😎"
6 months ago
Share →: When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Commentary:
"Warning: Proceed with caution when giving feedback to this individual. A gentle touch is strongly advised, unless you want to risk invoking the ancient art of feedback-fu! 🥋🤼‍♂️💥"

For even more funny nice quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,968

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,968

3 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Making waves on Twitch:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Spotted on Messenger:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

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