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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Seen just now on WeChat:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Making waves on TikTok:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Going viral on Instagram:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Spotted on Twitch:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Freshly posted on X:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Just landed via Messenger:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Funny nom quotes

New funny nom quotes 👇

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

0

2 months ago

cleverness, critic, de, food, humor, i, nom, nom de plume, plume, pun, restaurant, under, writing

Someone from 🇳🇷 has recently shared this quote.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny nom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

94 shares on YouTube this month:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

38 shares on Slack this month:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Just landed via Slack:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Going bananas on Telegram:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Trending via TikTok:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Going viral on Reddit:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Spotted on YouTube:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Spotted on Slack:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny nom quotes

New funny nom quotes 👇

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

All funny nom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨