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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

35 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Shared recently on X:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Broadcasted on X:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Just landed via Reddit:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Reported on X:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Seen just now on Reddit:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Live now on Reddit:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Home » Funny Nom Quotes

Funny nom quotes

New funny nom quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Commentary:
"Talk about eating your words! This critic must have taken 'food for thought' to a whole new level with their nom nom nom de plume. 🍔📝 #PunnyPenName"

For even more funny nom quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny nom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

35 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Spotted on Discord:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Going viral on Instagram:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Live now on Discord:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Seen just now on Discord:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Breaking via Facebook:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

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