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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Going viral on WeChat:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Trending via Threads:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Home » Funny Nourishment Quotes

Funny nourishment quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Making waves on Telegram:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Seen just now on TikTok:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Going viral on YouTube:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Trending via TikTok:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

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